Made to be Together
by RainbowUnicornBear
Summary: It always seemed like they were made to be friends, but is it possible they were made to be more than friends? A Gus x Cornchip girl story since there aren't many of them out there. Rating has been changed to M.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **So here it is, my first fic! So excited! =D I just want to say, thank you for taking time to read this, I worked really hard on it. But I don't know if you're going to like it so I'm kind of nervous too. :-/ But just so you know I'm only in 8th grade so if it's not that good, remember that I'm just a stupid little kid, what else would you expect? Reviews are appreciated, and constructive criticism is welcomed. But if you have nothing nice to say, don't leave a review. Now go on and read! =) I hope you enjoy it!

Theresa Lemaise awoke as she fell from a cliff, and was falling to her death. But she didn't die. Instead she landed gently on her soft bed. That hadn't really happened of course; it was only a dream. She sat up, trying to remember. It had been a good dream, but it had ended badly. What time is it? 6:55. Five more minutes of precious sleep. Closing her eyes, she drifted back to sleep for what seemed like two seconds. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! It was amazing how much time could go by if you closed your eyes. She rolled over and shut off her alarm, then relished the last few seconds of rest before she would have to get up and begin a new day. Finally, she got up, dressed in a white v neck t-shirt and blue cardigan and black skinny jeans, and tied her long brown hair in a sleek ponytail. Looking in the mirror, she examined her reflection and put on a little eyeliner and mascara. It wasn't a lot, but any amount of eye makeup set off her green eyes dramatically. She walked downstairs to where her dad and brother Josh were already eating breakfast. She had didn't know where her mom was, and her dad didn't like to talk about her. "Good morning sweetheart." Her brother didn't say anything as he was too busy eating. Sandra, the Lamaise's housekeeper, set a plate with toast and eggs on it. "I make egg toast for you!" She said proudly. "Just as she had finished eating, a car honked outside. She checked her watch. Right on time, as usual. As she ran outside, Josh yelled, "Have fun with your boyfriend!" Theresa ignored him and smiled to herself as she heard her dad scolding him. Opening the car door, she climbed into the passenger seat next to Gus. Every time he saw her, he was struck by how perfect she was. And she was pretty. With long shiny brown hair, flawless skin, bright green eyes, high cheekbones, and full lips, she was a true beauty and everyone knew it except for her. And it was funny, she thought the same about him. He wasn't the same dorky kid he was in elementary school, that's for sure. He was tall, about a foot taller than Theresa, and very muscular. Not to mention he had gotten contact lenses, so now he was pretty popular. This time though, he didn't let it go to his head, not like the last time when he broke his glasses. This physical attraction has been going on since middle school when everyone was starting to think, maybe kissing isn't gross after all. Maybe cooties aren't real. Maybe love is a real thing. That was when Gus and Theresa began to ask themselves the question, "Could we ever be more than just friends?" then pushing it away. No. The answer to that question is no. They were friends, nothing more. No deeper connection than that. "-is really nice today." Theresa was snapped back to reality. "Huh?" She said lamely. "Oh, I was just saying that the weather is really nice today." Said Gus. Theresa looked back out the window. He was right- the sky was blue, the sun was shining, and there wasn't a cloud in sight. "Mmhmm." She agreed. She had been trying to remember the dream she had had last night. She actually remembered quite a bit of it. She was in a big garden with lots of flowers when she heard a voice call out to her. "Cornchip Girl." It said. "Come with me." It was Gus. She followed him, and he lead her to another part of the garden. They were under a kumquat tree, and their lips were about to meet when suddenly the sky turned dark, and big black helicopters appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and dragged them away from each other. She was in handcuffs, and was thrown out of the helicopter. That's when she woke up. Gus pulled into the school parking lot. Turning off the engine, he turned to face her. "Are you ok?" He asked. "Huh?" "You've been really quiet lately. Is everything all right?" His soft brown eyes were filled with concern. "Yeah I'm fine, just been thinking." "Thinking about what?" No way was she going to tell him the truth. Because the truth was, she had been thinking about him. "I was thinking about…nothing." She was a horrible liar. Gus looked confused for a moment, then shook it off, knowing better than to ask further. "Well, we'd better go then." He put his arms around her tiny waist, embracing her for just a moment longer than an ordinary friend hug. That didn't matter though. They were only friends. Still, that question still hung in the air; Could we ever be more than friends?

**P.S:** I know this chapter is uneventful, but things get more exciting in the next chapter, trust me.

**P.S.S** Was this chapter too short? Should I make future chapters longer? Let me know. Thanks for reading .


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter two. Enjoy it.

Big Cliffy Meanie: I'm so happy you like it :D I've read a lot of your stories and I'm a big a fan so it means a lot. Also I took your advice and spaced out more. And believe me this chapter is way more eventful.

~*Gus's POV*~

As I walked to my homeroom, I couldn't stop thinking about Theresa. Why can't I get her out of my head? Why is everything so confusing? What is the meaning of life? I so was busy thinking about all of this that I almost bumped into my teacher, Mrs. Bryant. "Sorry." I mumbled, then started looking for an empty seat. There was only one left and oh crap. It was next to Ashley A. and that meant- "Heyyy Gus, whatcha doin?" She gushed in that annoying voice of hers. "Hi Ashley A." I said, trying to be polite. That's what I said, but I think Ashley A. heard something along the lines of, "Why don't you practice for your future career as an exotic dancer by giving me a lap dance right here in the classroom? Oh yeah, and while you're at it you may as well try to kill me by suffocating me with your big fake boobs." "Mrs. Bryant, Ashley's A is trying to seduce Gus." Randall yelled. Mrs. Bryant rubbed her temples. "Thank you Randall. Ashley A, principal's office. Now. Gus, are you ok?" My face was red, and I was still trying to gasp for air, but I managed to say yes. "Excellent. Now, open your textbooks to page 208…

**Four hours later…**

"I'm telling you, it was horrible! She was suffocating me and she was wearing way too much perfume and- ugh! Gus ranted to me during lunch. "It's so gross, especially because she does that to **every** guy in school! Everyone here is screwed up!" "You're so right! Just an hour ago Lawson asked if I wanted to have sex in the janitor's closet during lunch."I told him. He jumped to his feet "WHAT! That pervert! Would you like me to punch him in the face for you?" I put my hand on his shoulder. "No Gus, calm down." Sighing, he sat back down and calmed himself. Then, suddenly I felt a pair of arms around my waist. "You know, there's still a half hour left of lunch. That's still enough time to have a little fun." Lawson whispered in my ear. Gus didn't miss a beat. "Why you bastard keep your hands off of her I'm gonna kill you you mother- "Gus!" said a voice behind us. "What's going on?" "Stay out of this Mikey!" "Mikey help me hold him back" He did and eventually Gus gave up. Lawson was long gone by this point anyways. "Okay I'll let it slide this time. But if he pulls anything like that again- "Gus please. Violence is never the answer." Mikey said. "Whatever. Where's the rest of the gang anyways?" Gus asked. "Gretchen is eating in the classroom, and TJ and Spinelli left campus for lunch." "Oh." Gus turned to me. I was a little shaken up. I had never seen him so angry before. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt." He said hugging me. I looked over at Mikey, who was trying not to smile. "What are you smiling about, Mikey?" I asked. "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." He said in a singsong voice. Still smiling, he picked up his lunch box and left. "So, Gus. I'm going to be by myself all weekend, and you know how I hate being alone so I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight." "Of course" He said hugging me again.

**A little while later… **

"So I left some money for food and stuff, and you know what to do in case of an emergency right?" Luke Lemaise said to his daughter. "Yes dad, I have to call 911." "Good girl." He said hugging her goodbye, then picked up his bags and headed to his car. Just as he was driving away, Theresa felt her phone vibrate.

Gus: I will be at your house in 20 minutes

Theresa: Kk

Gus: =)

**5 minutes later**

Theresa got up to answer the doorbell. _Gus is early,_ she thought. Well, she could not have been more wrong. When she opened the door, it was not Gus standing there at all. "Lawson?"

See? I told you things would get more interesting. Oh and in case anyone is wondering, Cornchip girl is 14 and Gus is 16.


	3. Chapter 3

So here's chapter 3. By the way I changed the rating to M because of violence and themes I wasn't planning on.

"Lawson?" She couldn't quite believe her eyes, but there he was, in the flesh. The porch light made his red hair glisten, and his freckled face had a mischievous grin on it. "How do you know where I live?" "I have my ways." He replied haughtily. Then he started looking her up and down and his smile grew even bigger. She had changed from her school clothes into denim shorts and a tank top that didn't leave much to the imagination, and her hair flowed down past her shoulders. "But why?"She asked. Lawson laughed, and picked her up, putting her over his shoulder. "You don't get it, do you? I **want** you. And I will stop at nothing to get what I want. He carried her up the stairs and into her room, seeming to know exactly where it was. He dumped her on the bed, stripped down to his boxers, then grabbed her breasts and started trying to shove his tongue down her throat. "L-lawson p-please stop" Theresa's voice was shaking and she was almost crying. "No. I'm not going to stop until I have what I want."

Now he was trying to get her shirt off. "Lawson don't!" She cried, trying to push him off. "You think you can resist me. How cute." He started French kissing her again. "But why me? Why don't you just do one of the Ashley's? "Because you're prettier than they are." He said laughing. Although she was terrified, a tiny part of her was flattered. He thought was pretty. By this time he had gotten her shirt off and was trying to get her shorts off. She tried kicking him and hitting him but it was no use. He was stronger than she was. "This will be a lot easier for both of us if you stop fighting me and just let it happen." Maybe he was right. If she just relaxed it would eventually be over with. She stopped fighting him and he was trying was figure out how to unhook her bra when- "LAWSON!" The voice was filled with hate so pure that it made Lawson stop cold.

Apparently Gus was a few minutes late because he had stopped to help some guy jumpstart his car, and when he got to her house he rang the doorbell and when she didn't answer, he let himself in and when he did, he heard the commotion from upstairs and ran to her room as fast as she could. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Lawson regained his cool as quickly as he had lost it. "What does it look like I'm doing?" He sneered. Gus lost his temper. "You asshole I'm going to kill you!" He roared, punching Lawson in the face. Lawson ran out of the room and out to the front yard, with Gus hot on his heels. It wasn't much of a fight. Lawson was scrawny compared to Gus. But Lawson continued to taunt him. "She was loving it. She was like, "Oh Lawson I love you sooo much. You're such a good kisser and you're way more handsome than Gus." Even Lawson knew that Gus and Theresa had feelings for each other. Anyone with eyes could see it. Gus knew that what Lawson was saying wasn't true. But it still pissed him off. He beat the crap out of Lawson until his face was covered in blood. Finally Lawson retreated and limped away, trying to stunt the flow of blood that was coming from his nose. Gus hoped it was broken.

He went back in the house, and back up to Theresa's room. She was sitting on the bed wearing only her undergarments, and was trying hard not to cry. She hated crying. When she was younger, she cried over little things until one day she realized that crying never helped anything. It was only a waste of time. She hadn't cried since then, and she wouldn't now either because that same rule applied here. Crying wouldn't change the fact that Lawson had nearly raped her. "Are you okay?" Gus asked, trying his best not to look below her shoulders. She shook her head and a solitary slid down her cheek. She brushed it away angrily, hoping Gus wouldn't see it. But he did.

It was like a dam had been building up for six years, and with all that had happened tonight, she had finally reached her breaking point. Gus hugged her tightly, and that's when she started really crying, with her face buried in his shirt. You wouldn't be able to hear it, but Gus could feel the sobs racking her body, and the wetness of the tears. She didn't just cry because she had been violated. She cried for her grandpa who had died last year. She cried for her unrequited love. She cried for the mom she didn't have. After a while she lifted up her face and realized that he also had tears in his eyes. "Why are you crying?"She asked. "Because I hate seeing you sad." He said, then kissed her on the lips.

She hesitated at first, then kissed him back. That had been her first kiss. Well, not really. Her first had been Butch of all people at a party in 7th grade when they were playing spin the bottle. And of course Lawson had just stuck his tongue in her mouth twenty minutes ago, but this was the first one that really counted. Butch's kiss had been slightly below average; his lips were chapped and he smelled like burnt steak. And as for Lawson's "kiss"- well she didn't want to talk about it. But this was amazing. It was like when she kissed him, for a short moment all was right with the world. They kissed again and again, until eventually they were making out. Eventually they stopped, and were cuddling as close as two people could possibly be.

~*Theresa's POV*~

Gus fell asleep right away, but I lay awake trying to wrap my mind around everything that had just happened. First I almost got raped, then Gus saved me, and then I just made out with him. It's a lot to process. I kept arguing with the little voice in my head.

_**You love him.**_

_Maybe I do, maybe I don't._

_**I can read your thoughts. I know you love him.**_

_That's not creepy at all._

_**;-P**_

_Who are you anyways?_

_**I'm the voice in your head.**_

_I know that, but do you have a name?_

_**No, why the hell would I have a name? I'm not even real. I'm just a voice you keep arguing with.**_

_I'm only arguing with you because you won't leave me alone_

_**Do you want me to leave you alone?**_

_Yes, please._

_**FINE!**_

_No need to yell at me._

_**Whatever.**_

~*Gus's POV*~

I wish I could sleep, but I can't. How could I? I'm in love. I wonder if she knows. I mean, I did kiss her. But does she know how much? She thinks I'm sleeping right now because my eyes are closed. What was I just talking about? Oh yeah. I'm in love with my best friend. How do I tell her? My outer appearance may have changed quite a bit since grade school, but underneath I'm still the same scaredy cat I've always been. Oh, she's getting up now. Hey, she has a tattoo on her back. I didn't know she had a tattoo. It's of a blue monarch butterfly. "You have a tattoo?" I asked. She jumped, probably because she thought I was sleeping. "Huh? Oh yeah, I do."A few minutes later she came back and laid back down next to me. "I thought you were sleeping." She said, kissing my cheek. Then she snuggled deeper under the covers and closed her eyes. Is she really sleeping? I poked her face. Yep. Maybe I should try and get some sleep too...

So yeah, there's some major Lawson bashing going on here! I didn't think anyone would really mind since nobody really likes Lawson anyways. I don't know why, but Lawson always creeped me out. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. As always, reviews are appreciated. But not mean ones. Those I don't appreciate.


	4. Chapter 4

So here's chapter… what chapter is this? This is chapter 4 right? I think so.

Sorry it took so long for me to update, but I've been busy doing nothing.

So this is probably confusing, but the last chapter didn't really happen, but was a fantasy/dream that Gus had. I know that it's a bit hazy because it wasn't going to be that way but I didn't know what to do with that storyline so I changed it a bit and for that I apologize.

Big Cliffy meanie 1: I know the rating doesn't need to be M, but it came to me in a dream that it should be M so I'm leaving it as M.

~*Gus's POV*~

Gus woke up to the smell of fresh bacon. It took him a moment to realize that he was in Theresa's bedroom. Then it all came back to me, but it was blurry. I walked downstairs, and found her in the kitchen. "Good morning sleepyhead!" She said nonchalantly, as though nothing had happened. "I made some oatmeal, and some bacon for breakfast." "Why?" He asked lamely.

"What do you mean why? Breakfast is the most important meal!"She said, confused. "You know that's not what I mean." He said coldly. She looked even more confused as she pushed a bowl of oatmeal towards him.

"Gus, I don't what you're talking about." He started to become angry. "Look, you can't pretend what happened didn't happen!" Gus said, pounding his fist on the table."Gus, nothing happened last night, okay? We both fell asleep almost as soon as you got here." Theresa said calmly. "So… It was just a dream?" He said, shocked.

"It must have been. Why are you not eating your oatmeal? Do you want sugar or something in it? Is that why you're not eating it?" He ignored her. "It just seemed so real." He muttered, almost to himself.

"Well, what was it about?" She asked. I ignored her again. Already the dream was slipping away, and he wanted to keep it in his brain. "It was really weird, but good." He said softly.

"Do you not like oatmeal or something? Because I can make toast if you want me too. Would you like some bacon? It's turkey bacon. It's really good. It's just as good as regular bacon, and it's 's so sweet. "Why can't it be real!? Why don't you care about me?"He whined.

He immediately wished he hadn't said that. It sounded childish, and didn't even make sense. There was silence for a few moments, until Theresa said, "I do care about you, Gus. More than you know.

"Thank you."

"It's true."

Awkward silence…

"Well, uhhh, what do you wanna do?" Gus asked.

"Black Ops."

_5 hours later…_

"Well, we beat all the levels. What do you wanna do now?"

"Silly Gus, it's Saturday evening. I want to PARTY!"

"What do you…" But Theresa was already upstairs. Five minutes later she came back down with her makeup done and wearing shorts and a Jack Daniels tank top, complete with black and white striped knee high socks.

"Are you serious?" Gus asked.

"Of course, silly." She replied, then walked out of the room, and returned with a large cooler.

"What's in there?"

Theresa snickered, "Guess." Then left the room again.

When Gus opened the cooler, he saw that it was chock full of alcoholic beverages. Beer, margaritas, vodka, you name it.

"Cheater. You peeked." Theresa said, walking back into the room carrying two large foilware containers. She opened the cooler and pulled out a Mike's hard lemonade, and popped it open with her bottle opener ring.

"What's in…" Gus started to ask.

"Jello shots."

Then she took out all the snacks in the house and put them on the table. Finally, she turned on the computer and opened Facebook and began to type. "Party at my place NOW. Bring booze if you can. Spread the word.3"

"Now we wait." She told Gus. Within an hour, the Lemaise house was jumping. It seemed as though the entire student body of Third Street High was there.

Gus stayed in his chair all night, except at one point when he got up to use the bathroom, he walked in on Ashley Q and Lawson. He really wasn't having a lot of fun, as he was the only sober person there. "Oh my God Gus this party is freaking awesome! Isn't this fun?" Theresa said, stumbling over to him.

"No, I'm pretty bored, actually. Everyone's drunk." Gus told her. "Well of course you won't have fun if you're sober! Come take some shots, then you could go play with your girlfriend."Theresa said bitterly, clumsily gesturing to a certain redhead on the other side of the room.

"Gretchen is not my girlfriend, ok?"Gus said. "Listen, we'll talk about this when you're sober. I'm going to go home, okay?" "Nooo, stay here, I love you." Theresa whimpered. "Sorry, but my parents are probably wondering where I am. I have to go." As Gus walked to his car, he felt his phone vibrate. It was a text from Theresa. It said, astnvfndo. He typed a reply; You shouldn't drunk text, it could get you in trouble. ;P

But as he drove home, he couldn't help but think about what she had said to him. _Stay here, I love you._

_I love you._

He replayed the words over and over again in his head. "She was drunk. She didn't mean it. Don't make a big deal over it." But he also thought maybe, just maybe there was a deeper meaning behind those words. "Why am I making such a fuss over this? It's not a big deal. She's my friend, only my friend, and she was intoxicated. And it's only three words, just three little words."

_I love you._


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys, I'm sorry for not updating for so long, but I won't bother you with excuses. The point is I'm back.

Also, things are starting to get edgier in this chapter. As you continue reading this story, you'll probably be like.,"well that escalated quickly."

Oh yeah, and I was right about following my dreams. I apparently violated the guidelines but I don't know what I did wrong. I'll just have to be more careful I guess.

Also I'm really mad at myself for not thinking of a more creative title for this story. Arrgh

Teresa woke up with the same nightmare again. Immediately, she felt sick and went to bathroom and threw up. She hated the fact that beer had so many calories, even if she only had one bottle it was still a lot.

But it was all gone now.

_I can't find my jacket. Did I leave it at your house?_

Teresa walked downstairs to the living room, feeling a bit nauseous and looked around for his jacket, finding it on the table next to some empty wine bottles.

_Yeah, I have it here. Want me to bring it for you next time I see you?_

_Yeah. Will you remember? _

_Of course I will._

_So did you have fun last night?_

_Not really. I didn't say or do anything stupid did I?_

_I don't think so. Although you did say you loved me.;) _

Teresa froze. That was bit of a stretch. Had she really said that?

_I did?_

_Yup._

_Wow. Ok no more alcohol for me._

_Good._

_Oh, and if you tell my dad about the party, I will kill you _

_My lips are sealed. Wanna meet up at Kelso's today?_

_Yeah I'll just have ice cream for breakfast because what could be healthier than that?_

_Lol. See you in one hour?_

_Yeah. _

After taking a shower, Teresa spent a large amount of time deciding how she should wear her hair, and after deciding it should be in a messy bun, she had to make sure it was perfectly messy. _Why do I keep fussing about how I look? It's just Gus. He's my friend. _After taking forever looking for something to wear she decided on a pink button up shirt and light blue ripped skinny jeans. _Oh crap, I have to go._ When she walked through the door, Gus was already sitting at the counter.

"You're late." He said, a mock stern look on his face.

"Sorry." She said softly, and handed him his jacket.

"It's fine. I only just got here myself. By the way, I can see right through that shirt."

"Huh?" Teresa looked down realizing he was right. "Great."How could that have gone unnoticed? She looked at him closely. His face was a mixture of shock and concern. Why? He must be shocked by how trashy she looked, and concerned that she was becoming a whore.

She had always been good at reading people's emotions.

And she was right, he was shocked. But not for the reason she thought. He was concerned at how thin and bony she was.

He could see all her ribs, collar bones, chestbones, the whole nine yards. The shirt was so big on her that if it had not been so sheer he would have never noticed it. But it was, and he had, and it scared him. He was just opening his mouth to say something when Mr. Kelso popped up seemingly out of nowhere.

"Hello, kids. What can I get for you today?" He asked, talking to them the same way he had when they were young.

"A chocolate sundae for me please." Gus told him.

"And for you?" He asked Teresa.

"Um, a raspberry sorbet please. With roasted almonds on it."

When Mr. Kelso left, the two made mild conversation until Mr. Kelso returned with their orders. Teresa glanced at Gus's sundae. There had to be like 800 calories in that, if not more. She finished her sorbet quickly, then got up. "Well I have to go now. Bye!"

"But you only just got here." Gus protested. But she was already gone.

She ran home, pausing for only a moment to catch her breath when she reached her front door, then hurried up to the bathroom where she emptied the contents of her stomach for the second time that day.

Only this time it wasn't because of a hangover, or nausea, or anything like that.

She had made herself do it.

It was quite simple really. A couple of fingers or an old toothbrush down her throat, or some ipecac if she could get her hands on some.

She liked it.

After she was done, however, she felt like she hadn't been able to get rid of all of it, so she went to her room and picked up her duffel bag, and went out the door and walked the half a block to the gym that had been built about a year ago. Gus had a membership there too, but he didn't know Teresa had one as well. She signed in, then began her routine. Her routine was always the same: 15 minutes of treadmill, 15 minutes of elliptical, 15 minutes of stationary bike, and one minute of rest. She'd repeat this until she simply couldn't anymore, which normally was after about 4 hours, or a little less if she happened to be fasting that day. Then she'd drag herself home, take a cold shower, do 100 jumping jacks, take more than the recommended dose of sleeping pills, then fall into a deep sleep even though it was still early.

This was how it was every single day.

And it would have been almost normal if she ate like any other person. But she didn't.

She'd usually skip breakfast if her dad wasn't home, but if he was home he'd make her eat breakfast, then she'd purge it at school. If this happened she'd skip lunch. But on most days breakfast was eliminated, and she'd have something small for lunch, like a little baggie of carrot sticks, or maybe a small Tupperware container of lettuce. She used to eat lunch with Gus, or some of her other friends, but now she always ate by herself because she got tired of people questioning her eating habits. After she was done she'd spend the rest of break with her friends like any other person. But sometimes she didn't eat at all. Teresa could go days without eating sometimes, but sometimes she couldn't even last a day.

Once she had gone two weeks without food, and subsisted entirely on water, tea, coffee, and gum.

She had been tired, and very irritable and overly emotional, until one day she blacked out, right in the middle of the hallway at school. There was a huge crowd around her, and Gus had flipped out and tried to perform CPR, (which didn't work), and someone else dumped water on her, which brought her to her senses. She told the nurse it was because she was anemic, and that she was perfectly fine. But she was still given a tuna sandwich, just to be on the safe side.

She had thrown it in the trash on her way out.

The rest of the day everybody kept fussing over her, asking if she was okay and whatnot. Especially Gus. He kept asking if she needed anything, and telling her how he thought she was going to die, and hovered over her all evening, until she finally convinced him that she was fine and he could go home. After he left, she tried eating some toast so she wouldn't pass out again, but was unable to keep it down, so she had a glass of Ensure. The next day, she returned to her normal diet.

That had been two months ago.

Now she never fasted for more than five days. Teresa often pondered why she did this to herself. She didn't, and never had, done it because she believed she was fat and needed to lose weight. It was the feeling of power, the sense of control, that made it so addicting. Before her eating disorder began she had been 5 feet tall and 97 pounds. But now she only weighed 76 pounds, and she was well aware that that was seriously underweight and that if she lost much more she could die. But now she was at the point where she didn't even care. She already felt like she was dead on the inside, so what difference would it make if she were to die for real? Oh that's right, she'd be in heaven with the angels, and she would finally be happy.

She even sort of attempted suicide once in fifth grade. Teresa couldn't remember what had been going through her head at the time, only that her young mind was thinking if she locked herself in her locker, she'd eventually run out of air and die. It took her about five minutes to realize that there was a little vent like thing near the top of the locker to prevent that from happening, and now there was no way to get out. She punched herself in the face and got a black eye for being such an idiot. So she was trapped without food or water in the locker for the worst 15 hours of her life, until Hank showed up at about six o clock in the morning, and heard her pounding on the metal door and opened the door. She had stepped out without saying a word, and walked home, skipping school without a good reason for the first time ever.

Now, looking back on that memory as she laid in her bed, she realized how messed up that was, being 10 years old and thinking about suicide, and laughed bitterly to herself.

Maybe being raped and sometimes beaten by her uncle whenever her dad was away ever since she was five contributed to it? Probably. Could it also be that she was just born with a screw loose her head? Most likely. All she knew was that she was not normal at all, and she was certainly nothing like the sweet, innocent perfect little girl everyone believed her to be.

She was screwed up.


End file.
